Interact Positively With Your Spouse for a Happy Marriage….

Newly married couples are so easy to spot: their eyes gleam with love, their faces radiate happiness and they wear the most genuine smiles. The initial phase of being married is perhaps the best time of a relationship, when both partners are brimmed with passion and love for one another. They put their best foot forward to make the other happy and to incite more loving feelings from them.

But as their relationship ages, the passion fades and makes way for comfort and convenience. These qualities are not exactly undesirable. But couples who exhibit these qualities tend to behave in a manner that causes negative interactions among them. When a couple is married for too long, they stop doing things to please one another and they may also become insensitive over a period of time. Consequently, their relationships become more tensed and bitter and they engage in more arguments.

Arguments take its toll on relationships

Although arguments are not essentially unhealthy but frequent arguments, bickering and constant fights causes couples to become unhappy. When couples frequently engage in negative interactions, they begin to foster feelings of anger, resentment and irritation towards the other partner. Couples, who have 8 negative interactions out of 10, are said to head for divorce.

Staying happily married

For couples to stay married, they have to have more positive interactions than negative. But staying married is different from being happily married. Sure, having more positive interactions can be enough to prevent a marriage from falling apart. But, is it enough for the couple to be happy? The answer is no. There actually exists a formula which can keep a married couple happy.

If a married couple has 10 positive interactions out of 12, it is safe to say that both partners are happy with each other and in the relationship.

How to have more positive interactions

Conversations do not always go as planned. But there are certainly a lot of things married couples can do to build a foundation for future positive interactions.

If you have been married for a long time and want to diminish your arguments, here’s what you should do:

Appreciate your partner For whatever he/she does for you. Be grateful for their efforts and time spent to make you feel good.

Do something to make your partner feel good. Cook for him/her, take him/her on a drive or movie etc.

Take time out for your partner and have meaningful conversations. This will help you regain emotional with them.

Encourage your partner for the things they like to do or are good at. Become your partner’s support system, celebrate their achievements and console them through bad times.

Communicate effectively If you have a problem then tell that to your partner in a clear and polite fashion. Do not accuse or yell and always, always watch your tone.

Do not demean or disrespect your partner during an argument. Do not resort to calling names or insulting your partner even if he/she is as at fault.

Compliment your partner This can really boost your partner’s confidence and make him/her feel really good about you and your relationship.If you do these things, you will really witness a stark difference in your marriage. You will not only have frequent positive interactions but you might also rediscover the lost passion in your relationship.

Intimatematrimony is India’s pioneering online matrimonial service provider, offering best matchmaking services. With ample database of thousands of prospective brides’ and grooms’ matrimony profiles, we assist you to meet with potential life partners and build lifetime relationships.

More Visit :www.intimatematrimony.com

10 Modern Myths About Wedding…

1. If I marry the “right person” we’ll always feel in love.

Our culture has fed us the myth that we all have a perfect “soulmate” out there and if we find him/her, our passionate feelings will never fade, our disagreements will be rare or nonexistent, we’ll both want to make love with each other constantly and every day in marriage will have fairy tale bliss. When we wake up one morning and don’t have those feelings, we start to assume we must have married the wrong person and need to get out and find our real “soulmate.” The truth is that strong marriages are built on commitment not compatibility. For more on this, check out my post on overcoming “incompatibility” in marriage.

2. If my spouse really loves me, he/she will be willing to change.

Some of the most frustrated people on earth are the ones who are in a marriage where they’re trying to “change” their spouse—or they’re in a marriage where their spouse is trying to change them! It’s exhausting and unnatural. It reduces the marriage to manipulation instead of love. Yes, both spouses will certainly have to make selfless adjustments for the marriage to thrive—but neither should do it at the expense of losing his or her identity in the process. Love brings out the best in us, but doesn’t change who we are. Remember, it’s never your job to “fix” or to “change” your spouse. It’s your job to love you spouse. Love is what truly changes us all.

3. My friends know me, so they are the best place to get marriage advice.

Nearly everyone in your life is going to offer you advice and share their opinions with you. We trust our friends, so we naturally assume their marriage advice is going to be solid, but the best advice is usually going to come from outside your peer group because your peers are dealing with the same stuff you’re dealing with. You need a mentor; not just a friend. You need to find advice and wisdom from someone is ahead of you and probably older than you. Find someone with the kind of marriage you hope to have twenty years from now and ask them for advice.

4. I still have a right to privacy (I don’t have to tell my husband/wife everything).

This one always tends to offend people, but it’s vital to a healthy marriage. Secrecy is the enemy of intimacy and if you want a healthy marriage, you have to have total transparency and trust. This means don’t keep secrets, hidden passwords, hidden money, hidden conversations or anything else your spouse doesn’t have full access to. The healthiest couples value transparency over privacy. They place their responsibility to their spouse ahead of their rights to privacy.

5. My parents raised me, so my loyalty to them should be stronger than my loyalty to my spouse.

We should always honor our parents, but when we do it at the expense of our marriage, we’ve created a toxic and dysfunctional dynamic. Your first loyalty must always be to your spouse. Practically speaking, this means you shouldn’t talk disrespectfully about your spouse and you shouldn’t allow anyone in your family to talk disrespectfully about him/her either. For more on healthy relationships and healthy boundaries, 

6. I should not have to tell my spouse what’s wrong, if he/she was paying attention, they would know.

One of the most common miscommunication traps in marriage happens with these unspoken assumptions. We think our nonverbal hints should be more than enough to get the message across—or we think the answer is so obvious that we shouldn’t have to say it out loud. When we fall into this trap, one spouse stays clueless and the other spouse stays frustrated. We need to communicate with consistency, clarity and transparency.

7. If I’m not sexually fulfilled in my marriage, as long as I don’t have an affair, I should be able to do anything I want to get my needs met.

Modern couples have adopted the destructive habit of “outsourcing” the sexual fulfillment in their marriage to outside sources like pornography or romance novels. In an attempt to enhance their own sexual gratification, they’re actually sabotaging the sexual intimacy of their marriage. When you replace your spouse with another person (virtually or physically), then you’re pursuing pleasure at the expense of your marriage. All your sexual energies, fantasies and desires should be focused on your spouse. Monogamy should be both physical and mental. It might sound impossible, but it’s not. 

8. Every couple is unique, so there’s not a single “right way” to have a good marriage.

This one is partially true, but it’s often the “almost true” things that prove to be more deceptive than obvious lies. Every couple is unique and there’s no cookie-cutter approach to marriage, but there are some timeless and universally-applicable principles that provide a compass to keep a marriage on course. To disregard these principles and write our own rules for love and marriage will lead to disaster. 

9. Our kids, need us so they should always come before our marriage.

If you’re a parent, I’m sure you’d be willing to give your life for your kids. Parenthood takes that kind of selfless concern for our kids, but I’ve seen too many couples be “marriage martyrs” by sacrificing their marriage on the altar of parenthood. The parents wrongly assume that total devotion to the kids requires putting the marriage on autopilot. Those parents wake up one day to realize they have an “empty nest” and an empty marriage! One of the greatest gifts you can give your children is the security that comes from seeing their parents in a loving, committed marriage. Have the kind of marriage that makes you kids actually want to get married someday!

10. If things aren’t working out in my marriage, I would probably be better off with someone else.

When you face struggles, don’t look for an exit strategy. Don’t fantasize about a life with someone else. Work through your challenges together and you’ll come out stronger on the other side. Remember that a “perfect marriage” is just two imperfect people who refuse to give up on each other!

Kerala is the motherland of people belonging to varied religions, castes and communities. In fact, the Hindu Religions belong to different cultures.Kerala weddings are celebrated with the same fervor everywhere, though their way of conduct is different. Today Online Matrimony play major role Kerala wedding .Intimatematrimony is the best online matrimony in Kerala caste matrimony...

Best Features of a Successful Matrimonial Website...

The sheer reach and convenience of Internet has shrunk the world and brought the reach of everything to one’s finger tips. The access has enabled the evolution of a number of online businesses and one such business is online matrimony. It is one of the online businesses, where the tradition is linked with technology. The increased use of online matrimonial portals is attributed to literal collapsing of conventional family networks, frequent professional movement among the younger generation and the prolific penetration of the Internet.

Though a number of matrimonial websites have mushroomed using dotcom boom and the growth of online banking, only a limited number of them continued to thrive and grow. It is essential to understand what makes such websites successful.

Easy Registration Process

The easy registration process to complete the registration in one go without arduous back tracking is one aspect that attracts increased number of visitors.

User friendly interface:

Users prefer websites that offer user friendly and smooth interface to wade through various options.

Increased choice of profiles:

The ultimate idea of any matrimonial website user is to find their soul mate easily and quickly. The availability of increased number of profiles in every category enables the user such quick option.

Classification of Profiles:

Classification of profiles under appropriate categories such as community, caste, age profession and personal preferences enables a registered user to narrow down his or her options to find their life partner easily.

Level of security:

A successful matrimonial website always cares for the privacy of the registrants. The security options such as photo and profile protection, access permission etc increases the confidence of the registered users.

Profile Matching facilities:

As a facility matrimonial websites have installed horoscope or Horoscope matching software to meet the requirement of the conventional alliance seekers. This feature enables such traditional users and others to narrow down their choice of selection.

Success Stories:

The success of a matrimonial website is often gauged by the number of marriages concluded using the website. The portals encourage such married couples to post their marriage success stories in the website. Such posted stories increase the credibility of a matrimonial website.

Use of other Promotional Vehicles

A majority of the online matrimonial companies make promotions only to increase the database of their registered users. Only a very few companies use their other promotional vehicles such as TV, Magazine and Ground Events to promote the profiles of the users